Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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