Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
