You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
