Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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