i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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