i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize