I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
