something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
As shirtless as possible
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
