should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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