What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
