he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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