My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You took a bar mat shot.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
