omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
