She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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