Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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