I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
