meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
