I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can you bring me the toilet please
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
