are you still at the devil's house?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He did a backflip because drugs
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