It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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