you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
