He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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