Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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