Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
