Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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