I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
