sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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