At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
