I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize