fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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