If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
