therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
two words: eviction party
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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