There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
