pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
