u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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