listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
