dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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