She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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