i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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