9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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