Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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