You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize