i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
