You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if only i could text you this smell
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
