I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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