I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i came on her dog
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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