my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
