Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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