I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just forgot I was standing up.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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