I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
