i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
