Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize