and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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