Tell her she can't have a vagina
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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