Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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