Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
do nipples grow back?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize