Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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