Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize