I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
