lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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