is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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