hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
