OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
