Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
