At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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