It's Friday. Sex?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
